My Tribute

Rest in peace, Dad. We love and miss you.

Charles James Smith

October 17, 1947 - September 25, 2006

A Call For Help

Today was another weird day for me. It seems like those are in ample supply as of late. Like most Saturdays, I got to my job in the West Loop at around 8:40 in order to open up Chicago's community media facility by 9. Things started out normally, The day started with the activation of equipment and the processing of mundane paperwork.

At around 10AM, one of our producers came into the facility looking for me to discuss the process of taking her access show and getting it out to more people via the internet. Now this woman is a pastor and considers herself to have a direct connection with God at times. Now I must admit, I am usually skeptical of this type of thing and I imagine many of you are too, but please hear me out.

In the middle of me telling her about different third-party video hosts, she interrupts me and says,

"Kevin, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to say something. I feel like I have to be obedient to God, and do his will. Right now, I am feeling a very strong spirit around you. The spirit of a woman, dressed in all white, and she loves you. She loves you so much. And she wants you to know she is OK. She wants you to know she is alright. She is in a higher state of mind."

I then told her about how Jesika died in April, and a look of genuine shock washed over this woman's face.

I never told this woman about anything that had happened to Jesika or to me, or anything like that. This literally came to both of us as a bolt from the blue. When she told me this, I really didn't know how to feel. Part of me felt happy and relieved. Part of me felt like crying. Honestly, part of me felt like "this can't be real". Needless to say, for the remainder of the say, I was emotionally unsettled.

Am I a total rube? Is my residual anger and cynicism keeping me from acknowledging something that is operating on a higher spiritual level. I am so confused.

Now I have never actively requested feedback from my blogs/notes, but I am asking now. I don't know what to make of this. I don't know how to emotionally respond. I am asking all of your honest opinions. What do all of you make of this?